Afamosa trip and my cousin bernice!

Hey hey ppl!!
I just came back from a famosa trip in malacca!
It was a 2 day 1 night trip (tour)-organised by my yi zhang from G1!!
It gave me a break...but! i struggled alot on the inside...

Oh! i brought my super duper big and heavy bible to famosa! cause i wanted to do my quiet time with it...
Anw, i went on this trip with my family plus my uncle's (mum's side) the family and my grandfather and ah yi pat and yi zhang!
My grandmother have like 7 children in total! so you can guess how many cousins and family my mum's side have!
However, the sad thing is that we are not close at all...i guess it is because we are self-contained...
2 of my cousins, Bernice (one year younger) and Benny (a few years younger) went for the trip.
They are very smart! cause one is in nanyang girls high and one is in hwa chong...
I struggled alittle, at first, to try to talk to them so that i can built a better relationship with my cousins and share the gospel with them (cause must bond first then easier to share mah)...but at the end, i managed to talk to them!
I asked them about their cca, sch and whether they go to church...then, i realised that they are backsliders...
i couldn't really bond with them cause it takes two hands to clap! if i am the only enthusiastic one trying to make friends and the other just answer to my questions then stop talking kind, it will be very difficult for me to communicate with them...
I asked Bernice "hey! why are you not a christian anymore?"
She said " oh! cause i prefer to be a free thinker..."
then i said "oh...okay." cause i really dunno how to reply her...i am loss for words..
Hmmm...afterthat, i just sat on the bus and thought of several things...i thought of how am i going to approach them...thoughts just filled my mind! like at night, what am i going to say, what i am going to do with them...and how to i spread God's word so that i can save them kind of thing..
Wah..i tell you, i think and think and think until i very stress..i really dunno what to do!
I decided to seek for God's help...i prayed saying "Lord, show me what i am suppose to do and give me the courage. Speak to me through this book"..."this book" is the rehmma book...something like a guide book on john...

Do you rmb the post on backsliding?
I was just randomly flipping the book for the first time and i just randomly came to a page and started to read it like the day after i wrote the post and God spoke to me!
It was on "He is Peace"...
One of the application question out of the two was, "Do you feel weary, wondering whether you have lost your passion for God because of your value that contradicts the world? Tell God about it." Don't you think that it exactly pin points the problem that i am facing? And God is saying that he knows!
You may think it is just coincidence, but, i do not believe that there are so many coincidences especially after i became a christian...

Anw, so i asked God to speak to me through the book...
i prayed and opened the book to any random page!
It was the article on "Trust and Obey"
After i saw this heading, the immediate thing that i thought of is, you sure this is an article that can solve the problem that you are facing now?
Hmmm..the application question is "Have you been like the enthusiastic crowd - volunteering to help God fulfil his plans in your own way? Tell God about it."
Don't you think God is amazing?!
I realise that i have been trying to save ppl. When i see one unsaved, i would be like a tiger, pouncing on the person without thinking...i realise that i was desperate to save lives by my own without understanding and knowing what God really wants me to do. I didn't know God's will for the person...i just plan things on my own. Do you?

So, i just prayed and prayed for myself, as well as for my cousins until i fell asleep...hahaha=)
Sometimes, i look at them, i will have some element of love, sadness and anger....
Love because they are my cousins and i want them to be saved and not fall back to the satan controlled earth..
Sadness because their hearts are cold and hard...their hearts are like a door that is previously opened, but they shut themselves from God..
Anger, because it is very difficult to love somebody that belongs to the earth...

I feel that although they are like super smart, win several prizes and are given several glory by men, they are lost souls that cannot find their Shepherd.
They have several external and material stuff like grades and stuff, but at the end, what is the whole point of having all these? To become successful in future? to earn lots of money? to make parents happy?
Is there a purpose for all these?
So what if you become really successful? they are all worldly stuff...
They have got no purpose in life...they don't have the interior fulfillment and joy...they don't have internal life!

Bernice, you may be reading this. Although this may sound harsh, but i really want to tell you to really make wise decisions in life. Life is short, and i really do not want you to regret.
You said you don't want to become a christian because you want to be free..
I can tell you that the true freedom that you are finding, can only be found in God...
Without God, you are being pulled down by the sins of this earth.
You are heavily chained with burdens, with satan pulling you back and making you sin and sin and sin...there is no freedom at all...
I can tell you that being a christian isn't easy, but being a christian, these chains can be broken and you gain internal fulfillment more than any other grades can bring you to!
If you are touched by God and you really love God, i am sure that you would be more than willing to go to church to just praise him and to hear his word...it shouldn't be a burden...

We all have choices to make in life.
Make the right one!
And once you know you make the right one, hold on to it and never let go no matter what!
Never let go=)

God loves you alot and he Never gives up on you!