This whole week of school is really hectic because i experienced the things that i didn't experience before..
Those of you who have my msn, i ever typed this on my personal message, "i am losing something that i had before..."
And that something is COMPASSION and LOVE for the people.
I have no idea why, but i seem to have lost this love for the people and the desire to want them to get saved and it became very real to me last week till this week. (Starting from mon it became worst)
My ability to love my classmates and the push to sharing the gospel and be sensitive to the spirit, trying to grasp every opportunity that i have to share the gospel and just really have this burden for their salvation in my heart. To feel what God feels, to grieve for what God grieves for..
Thoughts like "ai ya..i try so hard already, they all already know the gospel, no point in repeating the same old thing."
I seem to be comprimising to them and do not really emphasize so much on the words and language they use.
My passion for God and doing the work for God just subsided because i felt so discouraged.
I felt as though i try so so hard but i don see God moving at all..i don see the changes, i just don't see even a slightest bit if change...
I start to interceed in prayer for my father, extended family and friends for the sake of interceeding but the hope and conviction that they are going to saved when i pray disappeared though time..
The amazing thing was that, it was only this mon that i brought it up and told the rest in the prayer group in CJ morn meetings and fasting from break periods because i felt like there is a need to share...
They gave me the usual encouragements and stuff..i agree to what they say..but there was not much of a change actually..
Also, I realised that there are so many other christians out there, in churches who do not love nor feel the burden at all...and I felt really sad and helpless as i dunno how to help and support them...
God spoke to me through the 40 day fasting booklet because this whole week was basically talking about being intercessors and showing how jeremiah suffered for God and about just telling and proclaiming God's word to the world. And everyday, God will just speak to me through christian friends and His word..
And today, CJ prayer group did campus evangelism.
At first i really didn't feel like going...but i was reminded of the song i sang in the morn during the prayer group session. It is called "For the Lost" i think and the first stanza goes "In prayer we will seek your will. As we turn from sin. And though it cost us much, We'll give you all we've got. For the fields are white for harvest, Souls to be won for Jesus."
Because of that, i went ahead.
Summarising the things that happened as i went forth to the canteen with people from the prayer group 2-3 people, i just got really angry and pissed off..
Out of the 2 hours of campus e, we used the 1 hour to evangelise to a total of 4 people (2 claim to be christians) and for the other 1 hour the 2 other people whom i went with, try to comfort, encourage and calm me down. They really spoke their mind and told me straight that i shouldn't get angry with them and stuff..
The reason why i got so angry was because the christians claim themselves to be christians, but when i invited them for prayer group they didn't want to come..cause they say too busy and stuff..everyone that we shared to kept on asking us intellectual questions..questions like, "how do you know that your God is real? How do you know that your God is the real and true God when there are like so many other God's around? Who knows? maybe Ala is the real one lei? it is just your own personal belief. Maybe all the historical proof are fake? it is just blind faith!"
I get so so heated up, i really wanted to start a debate on it..i really wanted to show them that the Bible can actually be proven to be right. But at the end, thank God my other prayer group members stopped me in time..
Then i went for cell at night..and we went for some "light up" prayer and service meeting thing organised by hwa chong every year and it was held at bukit timah shopping centre...
I didn't know what it really was so i just went ahead with the other cell people..
And this is the thingy that i wanted to encourage you all with..it was the sermon that i heard and God really spoke to me personally through it.
It was about "The Great Commission" = matthew chap 28 verse 19. "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."
Especially in JCs and polys, there will be many who will try to prove that God does not exist, there will be many that try to beat us christians up intellectually..
And for me, i will usually be the one who try to convince them, reason with them and try to win their arguments and debates about God.
But actually ALL that we need is to love them and bless them.
There was this blessings campaign going around where by, people will go up to random strangers to pray for them just to show them that God loves and cares for them.
And the pastor shared that there was this engineering guy, he held on to the notion that he is the pastor of his workplace and thus went to pray for 1 colleage a day.. and by the end of the campaign, there were 14 colleages queuing up and asking him to pray for them and some even converted to christians..
If we use the intellectual stuff to convince them and argue with them, it is just like taking the Bible and hitting them on the head, making them not wanting to talk to you again, about God especially..so what if you win the argument? They wanna argue because they cannot see. They cannot see the God that you claim to have..they cannot see the things that are said in the Bible.
By loving and blessing them and when they experience God's love and stuff, they can see the real things happening..not only in their lives, but yours.
They are looking at how you present yourself as a christian, a child of God.
Are you willing to offer yourselves to show others that you care?
Offer yourselves to show others that God loves them?
Will you be the first to pray for them with they face certain problems in school, be it studies or falling sick? If you ask them whether they want you to pray for them, and they feel very uncertain, can just say, "you got nothing to lose what, if it works then good for you..if it doesn't work, it isn't going to cost you anything mah." But if they don't want then you don push it on further ler..
Will they feel comfortable confiding in you?
How about all the other people that are considered the outcast? People that drink or smoke? People that join gangs and take drugs?
Many will say, "oh...i don want to go and talk and mix with them, i want to maintain my holiness lvl."
But think about it, if you don't do it, who will? the other non-christians?
One of the difficulties that we face while sharing the gospel in school is that when we try to invite people to go to church, they always don't want to go.
So instead of bringing the people to church, you can bring the church to the school.
Some people will really go all out and to large extents just to evangelise. But actually when you can do is just right in front of you. We are called to love and bless people.
Always ask yourself, what makes me so different by the way we live our lives from the rest of the people?
Is it just a name?
The love of Jesus Christ goes beyond theology or whether your friend can speak tongues.
Someone once said, "if you really have experience with Jesus christ, how can you not share it?" cause it should be something real amazing and outpouring.
Prayer is really important.
God gives us something called prayer so that our prayers can move the heavens and touch God.
1 Peter chap 2 verse 9, "But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light."
We are called to be pastors in our school, our homes and even in our workplace.
As long as we pray and seek God, we are able to change the whole spiritual atmosphere in school/ workplace. Lets have unity in Christ. Let us take courage to be different. (in a Christ-like way)
As long as you are sincere and true to yourself about what you really want God to change you or to help you, God will speak. Just like how God speaks to me, as you yearn, wait and be sensitive, God will speak and transform you today^^
There is a verse that i want to share..1 Peter chap 3 verse 1 "....Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives."
God loves and never rejects your sincere heart.
