Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bintan and simplicity

hey hey! sorry for not updating for quite a long time..have been kinda busy and stuff with the real programme! and i just came back from my first mission trip! Bintan!
My misson trip in Bintan is only a 3 day 2 night mission trip. sat, sun and mon.
The whole real team, we basically allocated tasks for different people..some did preaching, MCing, organised tuition lessons, children's programme, testimony sharing..etc.
The food places that we went to were so good! really super nice!
For me, i had to lead the second day of the children's church.
I am going to talk about my experience leading the children's church programme.


For me, i am a person who is not really a leader..
I am better at following..i just cannot really lead.
Joey (the person in charge of the whole real programme) purposely placed me in a leadership position).
At first when i heard that i needed to lead a children's programme for like 2 hours, i got scared but at the same time thought it will be ok..cause i love children and i had some dealing with children background (because i was in children's ministry two years back) so i had confidence that i would be able to communicate with the kids.


I was placed at the first children's programme which was held at sat night.
But somethings cropped up and i was placed at the second one on sun morning.
For the sat night's one, we went to a house and there were alot of children! and the house is kinda small..i think there were about 40 to 50 of them squeezed in a small room.
I got a shock when i saw it.
My group wasn't the one leading the children's programme for the first night so i just sat back and observe the situation, thinking of ways as to how to improve my programmes planned to better cater to the lack of space and so many children.
The other group did worship songs followed by one of the guys from real team, samuel stepped in to drag time because the group which is leading,didn't know what to do.
He was real good.
It was like he was basically born to do it kind because he was able to capture the attention of the kids and really had fun with the limited amount of space..doing magic tricks, games..he can bascially run the whole programme by himself.
The group was really glad that he came to save them and i was too..i was really very amazed at how he is about to connect with the kids despite the language barrier.
Next on the schedule was origami...they had to learn how to fold paper hearts as the group that is leading took over from samuel.
during this time, i really panicked.
i sat aside and really try to think of ways to connect with the kids on the sun morning's programme..i was very motivated to run it well for my children's programme (but it didn't last for very long.)
As for the origami hearts, mine also had origami but it is cranes instead.
but because of the huge amount of children and little manpower, the children soon got restless and started to walk around and go into the room i was in.
So i thought it was ok to play with them and stuff but i realised i was pulling them away from the leading group.


Anws, the children's programme was bascially kinda screwed up if not for samuel who is not even supposed to run any children's programme to step in and help.
There were alot of unexpected and everyone left with a heart that is very discouraged.
For me, my motivation disappeared, and i thought to myself, "i can never be as good as samuel..how am i supposed to connect with the kids?"
And all the other negative thoughts start to pop up in my mind...things like, i will not be able to lead..i am not even born a leader..
And all the past failures in church with regards to me leading worship, me as a person, critisisms that i recieved from people, from leaders at start to come in..and i just felt totally drained out and i was so confident that i am not able to do it..it really took away all my happiness.

That sat night after the service, i talked to joey (because he noticed there was something wrong with me) and i told him stuff..
He is one person that motivated me quite abit...there was something that he said that i remembered..."the reason why i gave you this role is not because i have confidence in you..but it is because i have confidence in God that God can work through you."
I was afraid of failures..i was afraid at how people look at me as a failure..and how incapable i am..
I keep on telling him, what if i fail?
he said that it doesn't matter whether i fail or not. fail then fail la...so what?
i got really comforted.
Samuel also keep on telling me that i am able to do it.


that sat night, alot of people came to leng shan's and i the room to help.
Whether related to the programme or not, they all came to help.
these people were..david, joshua. kah sheng, leng shan, samuel, nigel and jia liang.
I asked for ideas and stuff..we did rehearsals for the skit, created by josh. we did story telling by nigel and many others.
The best thing is that it lastest till 4 am in the morning!
And we had to wake up at 6.30 to 7.
Even gaomin who didn't really know why i am so stressed out and quiet wrote for me a note as encouragement.
Josh wrote a note for me too..

Before i lead the children's church thingy on sun morn, people like joey came to encourage and motivate me once again! He kept on saying that i can do it and he will be there to jia you me and stuff..
As for samuel, he pulled me aside and prayed for me..
As for joshua, he keep on telling me that he will be there so got him to back up..don't need to worry.
Leading the children was a very tiring experience because alot of actions and energy is required..
But after the whole thing, i felt very happy about it and it was a success for me personally.
How i wish i am able to stay there with them like longer.

I just got really amazed at how small little things that people do can really speak into the lives of some..
A simple "hello" or a smile can actually brighten some who had a tough day..
A simple hug can actually make one feel loved and accepted.
A simple tap on the back can actually make someone feel so so encouraged.
Simple words like, "well done"," jia you!" "don't worry", "i'll be there"..etc.
can actually touch someone.
There is no need to create fanciful words or actions just to impress someone or speak into the life of someone..
This is one of the beauty of simplicity.
The sad part is, not many people do so..
If you were to ask me what is the top thing that i gained from this trip to bintan, i would say the friendships forged.
i am just really glad and contented to have friends like these in my life to lend me a helping hand in my times of helplessness.
Really wanna thank God for it.

SIMPLICITY OF FAITH

On the journey back to singapore, on the ship, i went to the top level which is open air to look at the scenery, i also learnt some stuffs.
Looking at the sky, the clouds and the oceans, seeing the sun setting, looking at the birds flying in the air so freely...so many colours all around me and with the wind blowing my hair all around...
It was such an enjoyment for me..because i was finally out of city life..out of places with buildings and concrete structures..i love connecting with nature and just to look at it, enjoy it and appreciate it quietly...

One of my two dreams is to become a pilot..because i love the sky and to be with it.
Looking at far away airplanes fly past, i really wish to be the one driving it...

Anws, coming back to the topic, i was looking at the sky, clouds and the seas i was just simply stunned by how big this thing is!
Its like you look all around, there is no ending in it...you don't see an end..the sky and the oceans stretches across a large large area..too big for me to see or comprehend.
I felt very comforted as i look at the sky and the moon. and was in awe at how big and amazing God can be..
He is the one that created all these! and i am so super small and insignificant as compared to it..
I mean like if you compare the surface area that i occupy against these things, i will be almost nothing...like zero.
But still, God chose us to govern the whole earth.
The question in my mind was, 'why didn't He choose someone bigger to take rule and control? won't it be better?'

These are sights which you cannot really capture when you are on land and esp in a city area or areas with alot of pollution and buildings and vehicles kind.
Its just like a frog in a well.
we are like frogs..
The sky that we see is only one small area out of the vast skies that are out there.
It is just like what we see in life is only one small little portion of the entire thing..
it is just like God. what we percieve and know who God really is, is only one small portion of His entire being.
I realised that when i saw that the sky and oceans that i can see and comprehend at the position i am in, is very limited..
It becomes more limited when i am in a city, with high rise buildings all around and very little sky can be seen.
so actually the people who are living in the villages are actually more fortunate and blessed in terms of being able to get intouch with nature and being able to get a better grasp and hold of the sky and the clouds.
In the same way, although the villages do not have alot of money, they are able to grasp the goodness of God so much more easily..because they do not have anything much to start of with.
They have more time to spend with God and not get so caught up with things to do and deadlines to reach..etc. they are able to appreciate the simple things in life.

One more thing that i learnt is that even though i can describe so much to you..like the sky, the sun, the moon, the oceans,the waves..etc. You won't be able to get the full picture and experience because you are not in it.
You really have to experience and look at the whole thing yourself to really get amazed by it.
even if i were to take pictures of it and show you, you won't be able to fully understand.
Morever, pictures can only take portions of it..not the whole thing..
Similarly, God is just like that.
I can tell you..God loves you up till the point that He is willing to die for you!
But at the end of the day you can still feel very indifferent about it.
Only when you take a step of faith and experience the love God can give, then you will get the full experience.
Then will you be able to get the picture and be amazed by it.

Alot of people think that christianity and God is a very difficult thing to grasp..alot of theories and stuff..
But actually it is the simplicity of it that keeps the faith going.
It is just that God loves you so so much that He is willing to sent His son down to suffer and die for us so that we can live with Him once again in heaven. We love Him because He first loved us.
Isn't it very simple?
God just wants us to love Him.
That is what keeps faith going...love.

God loves you!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sow the Seeds!

Today i wanna talk to you all about something that spoke to me when i attended the sermon on sun for adults like for a short while while waiting for the youth service to start^^
Its about evangelism..
Eh eh eh...don't go off yet k?
hear what i have got to say..esp for those who totally switch off when this word 'evangelism' appears.
But! it is really very important! because it is us christian's the primary purpose of us living on earth!

I think i have said this before..
An example is like you have just watched a super nice movie like "avartar"!
it is super duper good..and you just go around and tell all your friends about it, recommending them to watch the movie like non-stop.
At least this is what i would do if i saw something real good be it food, a restaurant, a shop or a movie..
It just comes out naturally because you know that when they watch it or eat it too, they will most probably enjoy it as much as you do...(unless your taste is really different and unique from the rest) but usually what you enjoy, there will be others out there who will enjoy it too.

Just like this real life example that i have stated above, if God is really good and the amounts of truth that you really get blown over by it. and somemore God's love for you is something that cannot be measured at all. and the experiences that you encountered with God, wouldn't it be something that is so so much better than what you can obtain from this world?
The most important thing is also that it concerns the people whom you meet and love's eternal life.
Shouldn't it be natural for you to share how amazing this God is? and why one wanted to be a christian?

God didn't say go! gifted ones! He includes everyone..
This means that He includes you and me..no one is of any exception.
Even though you cannot really speak very fluently or with good language..God will still want you to do so..
The best thing is that you are not talented in this area..you are not a natural speaker or be able to carry yourself forward properly..
Why is it the best?
Because if God works through your weaknesses, you will see very clearly and amazingly that God is actually working through you and using you because you will be doing things that you didn't think you were able to do it in the past but somehow you manage to do it. something like a miracle.
God also says in the Bible that He uses the weak and poor, but shames the strong and wealthy.
This does not mean that He will actually torture the strong and wealthy. it refers to those who thinks that they are ok and are better than the rest not those who recognises that they are strong..
God choose to use those who recognises that they are helpless and weak..those who recognise that they need God to do stuff because they cannot do it on their own.
Which is true because human beings have limits but God is limitless and huge.

Anws, evangelism can be just a simple invitation like, "hey hey! would you like to come over to my church one day and attend the service?"
Different people react differently to different ways to invitation.
But the focus is that you do not give up trying even though they may reject you like once.
why?
Because you will never know what actually happens every new day!
I mean like the guy can today say i hate church and super anti church but tmr, he may change his view because of the complications and problems in life right?
If you neh try you will never know..
I have also been struggling with the fact that after awhile, i give up on people and move on.
if they reject me twice or thrice, i will not even try to tell them about christ any longer..
but i guess this is not the mindset that we should have because the world around us is really a EVER-CHANGING WORLD...but God is a NEVER-CHANGING God. thats the difference..God is reliable and trustworthy.

Some people like me will say.."but i scared!"
But do you know that the Bible mentions 365 times things like, "do not be afraid!"
That means like God kinda knows that everyday of the year you will face somekind of fear.
cool right?hahaha^^
Anws, the Bible also reminds us to not be ashamed of God's word or He will be ashamed of us.
You will never know, you sharing your testimony or story, can actually help someone else find God or to even grow stronger in their faith?

Grace told me twice that our God is a very "economical" God.
He will not waste whatever experiences that we have..like every single one..but to use these experiences to mould us to become what He wants us to be.
With every triumph over every situation, God is able to use it to bless others who might be facing the same problems later on and you will then be able to relate to them in a more personal level and emphatize with them.

Another thing is that you got to pray things like "Lord, pls lead me to someone today that i can bless." God will open the doors to those whom you can bless.
But the problem is that you must get yourself already in a ready position not to wait till things come but you are not equipt with anything and try to say something and you cannot then end up panicking.
Its just like that particular day you are going for a battle but you are not equipt with anything and on the way to the battle field this guy comes and attacks...of course you will lose out! and lose out in quite an embarrassing manner..
ok, maybe this is not a very good analogy...but i hope you get what i mean..
always be in a ready position.
ready as in being able to share the gospel when you meet anyone along the way, ready to say the sinners prayer, ready to relate to their lives and think, how can God come into the picture?
Imagine, if got chance the people out there are ready to accept the Lord and you are ready, God will be able to use you to touch people's lives! and not for you to panick last minute.
There is need to be sensitive to the opportunities that may come your way..
There is a need to immediately engage the Holy Spirit speak through you..

There is this last thing that we need to remember..and its very important!
"Jesus saves, it is not our responsibility to save but to build bridges."

There is this song that is named, "make a difference". its a very nice song and the chorus goes, "and i will run to the alter, and catch the fire, to stand in the gap between the living and the dead, give us a heart of compassion, for a world without vision and we'll make a difference, bringing hope, to our land."

We don't know who is going to be saved and we do not have the power to save the people that we love and care for even though we may want to..
What we know is that God promises that if we sow as many seeds as possible, the harvest will be plenty.
But to allow that to happen, we need to sow the seeds and not give up in sowing..if you give up, none will be growing at all and there will be no harvest.
Even though some may fall on hard ground and die off without growth, our job is not to grow it, the conditions of growth, like sunlight and right temperature is not dependent on us..we cannot control it. Only God can.
Our job is to sow the seeds!

God bless you!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

One of my experiences at R.E.A.L camp

Hey hey!! sorry for not putting up any post. Just wanna thank those ppl who put up the comments for me..really very encouraging^^really very nice of you all.
Anws, recently i have been very busy with this church programme for O and A levers called R.E.A.L.
Yupps. there are a total of 16 of us in this programme.
This programme is created by the church mainly to help groom leaders..
Basically it is a programme to help us grow spiritually...we will be doing mission trips, workshops, organising events for the next two months (Jan and Feb)..its kinda like working full time in church just that you don't get any salary.
Anws, we had this log in camp from the 28th to 31st dec in G1.


Today, i am going to tell you some of the lessons and reflections i have done^^
Overall, there were alot of first times for me.
It was my first time watching the sunrise (even though i tried like countless of times to watch it but always fail..cause too cloudy or something)
My first time crying so intensely in a camp or even infront of ppl.
My first time being at changi beach.
My first time going to a camp with grace assembly's church ppl.
My first time waking up at 3.30am for an activity in camp.
My first time doing quiet time (qt) so early in the morning and for so long.


When i heard of this log in camp for the first time and saw the videos of the past REAL people
playing games and stuff, i really was prepared heart and mind that this camp is going to be a great one. One that bonds people together, full of action pack games and fun! To help us get a head start and full of enthusiasm for the real REAL programme to start in Jan.
However, i was kinda disappointed at first that it was really tonned down.
It was a camp that had alot to do with writing, listening, seeing and with little moving.
They had games, but it was just for a short while and it wasn't very actioned packed. Everyday, people tell me how wonderful this camp was and how fun it is but i just kept quiet.


The camp was basically made up of workshops on finding out what kind of a person are you, your strength and weaknesses like the (DISCO) which is similar to sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and meloncholic. Also, things like how to read the Bible, forgiveness, being authentic and stuff...etc.
Just things that are very dry to me personally.


Anws, skip to the part about the morning quiet times.
I just wanna share with you my experience for the morning qt.
There was one at east coast around 6.15am and one at 4am at changi beach.
For the changi beach one i didn't see the sunrise, just the gradual lightening up of the sky.
I am going to share with you my experiences at east coast park.

As i mentioned earlier, everytime i have been to east coast, even if i wake up very early, i still
won't be able to see the sunrise...so i always thought that it can only be seen at west coast park.
(funny right? all along i thought i can only see the sun rise from the west!!)
Anws, Before the sun even came out. i looked at the sky getting brighter by the minute.
Filled with several colours. Blue at the outer most, followed by green then yellow then orange and finally red.

I kinda got disappointed once again because the sky gets brighter and brighter and the sun was no where to be seen.
It just reminded me of the many times i failed to see the sunrise no matter how hard i try.
It reminded me basically, of my failures.
I gave up watching and start to read my Bible...my head was facing down and i didn't bother to look up.
Until Gao Min (one of my friend in the REAL team) called out to me to look at the sky.
I was really amazed by the orangy red sun.
I dunno how to describe. It was just amazing and i just sit there in awe of it. It was really beautiful..you all should have been there yourself.
It was a feeling like wow! and my eyes just can't get off the sun rise above the sea...(just that it was kinda small as compared to how i imagined it to be)^^


Anws, back to the main point.
What dawned upon me was, if i were to give up and walk away, not waiting for God's timing, i would have missed the sunrise.
The devil could be reminding me of all the failures i had in the past to stop me from waiting or even trying to wait and perservere.
I couldn't have seen the sun at all.
Only, if i were to wait patiently and perservere until something happens (PUSH), the rewards are definately worth watching and getting.


It just like the life that we face.
For me, alot of times because of our anxious hearts, we cannot and fail to wait for God's timing.
We want to do things on our own and do the action first then pray later.
My friend once advice me..she said, in everything you do, pray first then do not do first then pray.
Alot of times we do already then in desperate need then seek God and beg God for help.
We usually fail to see that we are to always seek God's will and timing in prayer before we do the stuff.
Only if we were to be patient in every problem we face as we hand it over to God in prayer, waiting for His timing.
Through this, then we can discover amazing products at the end.
The question is, are you willing to wait?

Some people may think that the sunrise is something so common...nothing special, esp those who get to see sunrise and sunset to often and they get so used to it.
Try to think of the sun in a different light.
What is it made of?
How come it is always on unceasing fire?
Who could have created such a huge and amazing thing?

Another thing that struck me was how amazing God can be as i watched the sky, the sea and the air inbetween. God made them to be seperated, not mixing any of them together.
It just so perfect if you can imagine it..how come these layers do not mix when in the outer space, the water can float around and mix kind of thing..

Hearing the splashing of the waves and watching the water go up and down in a repeated cycle with so many so many(billions or trillions) of creatures living within it. Some of us may not have seen these creatures before like evidently. But, we do know it is there because of TV shows and books featuring it. There are even some creatures deep deep down and we only know they exist through machines..not even human beings can get down so deep.

Just like the TV shows and books showing us the things of the unseen, the Bible works the same way.
Just like how the TV shows and books are written and created by people who have went, search and explore the oceans and seas, the Bible is written by people who have experienced God and even seen Him.
They are the witnesses of Jesus.
The question is, are we going to trust the source even if the things are unseen and untouchable by us?
How much are we going to trust?
How reliable is it?

If what we can see like the sun and the surface of the oceans is already so amazing, what more the things that we cannot see?

This camp has really made an impact in my life.
Not that it is really fun and exciting.
But that this is the only camp that taught me the essentials to life.
To be able to know yourself and relate to others,
To love like how Jesus did.
To work for the eternal life.
These can only be done through prayer, reading of God's word, fellowship and worship.
This camp is truely different and it leaves memories like no other.

Thank You Lord