A run amongst the terrace houses

I never liked running...
I find it mentally and physically draining..
I like to do all kinds of sports besides running.
But i realised that sometimes i need to do so...
running is one of the only sports that one can do alone.
I run whenever i feel upset about something and i really needed to release it out..

This has been the second time in my life that i ran...alone.
Why? i just felt really upset, frustrated and confused with my feelings..
As i was running today, i was searching for something, a sign, anything from God.
I just needed a word of comfort from Him.
I wanted Him to speak to me.

I searched really hard, running uphill, down hill, looking up at the sky and everything..only to hear fierce dogs barking at me..
I reached a deserted playground and i sat on the swing, breathless, trying to catch my breath and tasting what i had enjoyed in the past when i was a little girl and the current me.

Going back to a few days ago, i was at my house downstairs waiting for the lift to arrive.
I saw 2 maids and 3 children.
One of the little tiny boy was really very very cute.
he just give the innocent smile and by the shirt he was wearing, he was from "apple tree" a nursery.
There were 2 other girls beside him..they were sitting on a table.

I started to think when i entered the lift, how beautiful the world is to this little boy..
everywhere is just filled with raindows and lots of fun!
Why is it that as we grow, we start to see a world of bleakness?
Why is it that as we grow, our "rainbow world" starts to fade away?
Is it due to human complexity or the so called maturity?
"can innocence and complexity coexist?"
i think they can.
Because it depends very much on how one thinks.
It is just like the little boy and adults. they all live in the same world and see the same things...but they in a way "see" the things differently too..
Thats why i love kids. I love their innocence and happiness which also affects how others around feel. i wanna be like them.

Coming back to the running part.
As i was swinging on the swing and looking at the scenery around me, i realised that if i stretched out my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing back and forth.
The only thing is that i have to make the effort and perservere putting my legs straight for a long period of time.
And finally, i got too tired, i dropped my legs and soon after, the swing stopped moving.
I started to think (i dunno whether it is from the Holy Spirit or not) but i start to relate it to church.
If i continue to perservere on just like me keeping my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing. But if i choose to give up just like that, there will be no chance of it moving anymore, just like my spiritual walk with God.
the message here is, don't give up..don't give up nicole.

I stood up from the swing and turned around, i saw 2 very old couple exercising together..they were like smiling and stuff..i think they are like in their 80s already with pure white hair..
It really comforted me because it showed me that there is actually hope in marriages..
Why i think that way?
I think it is because what i see in this world today is broken marriages of all religions..
divorse rates shooting high up.

There was something else that noticed.
It was the London kind of the telephone booth! (the red one)
i thought there was a phone in there...
As i walk towards it excitedly, and peeked into it, what i saw was nothing.
then i walked away and started running again..
when i ran up the hill, i saw another of the same thing like amongst the houses..
i was very happy at first.
But when i peeked into it, i saw nothing again.
the message that i thought of is, "what appears to be, may not be what it is."
and i thought about other churches this time.
No matter how good i think the other churches are, it may not be what i think it is.

It has been a very interesting run as long as you go with an open heart and mind, searching for stuff to look into and think about, God speaks. (you just got to know how to desifer them)^^

God bless you guys.

A story

Hey hey...i know that it has really been a super long time since i ever posted a post and i guess maybe this blog is like forgotten already..haha.

Many things have happened and i don reall wish to talk about it..too complicated to type it out..

The reason why i wanted to blog today is that i wanted to share with you all a little story that i read from "chicken soup for the christian soul 2" a book that i borrowed from the library and leng shan introduced it to me de.

This story struck me when i was doing my qt and prayed for God to speak to me..and i randomly flipped a page..and this was the story: "IN GOOD HANDS"

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanted anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

The phone rang early. Hal, my husband, answered it before it rang again.

"Yes?" he said. "Oh...i see." By the tone of his voice i knew it was the phone call we'd expected and dreaded.

We'd watched Hal's father. Harold, grow weaker since his heart attack in January. Dad's bypass surgery eight years earlier had given us far more than the five years doctors had promised. Then Dad experienced several smaller heart attacks. His lungs began filling with fluid. Doctors had reached the end of what they could do for him in the hospital and transferred him to an extended care facility.

With his needs beyond what care we could give and because he lived an hour and a half away, the most we could do was visit him as often as possible. Since we couldn't help him physically, the best care we could give was to care for his soul.

Hal and I had become Christians 15 years earlier, and we wanted to share our faith with his family. His mother, Grace, had taken Hal and his brothers to church when they were young, but his father never went. Grace quit attending after Dad's first heart attack. Did she stay home to make sure Dad was okay after his quaduple bypass? Or had his heart attack shaken her faith? I didn't know.

'Give us an opportunity to tell Dad about you, I prayed to Jesus. He must decide whether he will take you as his Saviour, but please don't let him die without a clear opportunity to respond to you.' I had prayed similar prayers for years, but when Dad became sick my urgency increased.

Hal hang up the phone. "Dad died at 3.30 this morn."

'Lord,' i prayed silently, 'did he have the opportunity i asked for?'

Hal and I had both looked for that opportunity to tell Dad about Jesus, but we saw none. With each visit, Dad seemed less willing to talk to us at all. He just stared at the tv. When we tried to start a convo, he pressed the "up" button on the volume control. The more we tried, the more he increased the volume. The urgency i felt inside increased as well.

We asked a hospital chaplain to visit Dad. He did. We asked our pastor to visit. He made the trip. A pastor from Mom's church visited too, but the result was always the same. Up, up went the volume on the TV. I didn't know what else to do but pray.

And now Dad was gone.

According to my fauth, those who accept Jesus christ as saviour are ensured an eternity in heaven with Him. However, those who refuse this gift of salvation spend eternity seperated from God. I still hoped somehow God had answered my prayer and had helped Dad understand, but had He? I didn't know...

We buried Dad in the veteran of the World war 2 herself, made her own final arrangements at the same time but non of us knew how soon she would need them.

The week after Dad's funeral, she started showing signs of illness. One day, a neighbour found her on the floor, incoherent. Doctors diagnosed Mom with a cancerous tumor in her stomach plus lymphoma.
She was hospitalised and we resumed the endless trips to visit.

Mom was too weak to live alone, and her sons discussed their options, each offering to care for her.
But it became clear her needs exceeded what any of us could give. The best we could do as her caregivers was to let professionals help.
She moved into an extended care facility. The chemo began having small strokes, then a major stroke. And there we were, the week of Christmas, laying Grace to rest beside her husband.
We invited everyone to gather at our home that Christmas. As we quietly celebrated the birth of Jesus, I not only wondered about Harold, I also wondered if Grace had a true understanding of Jesus Christ. How I wished I knew.

The new year dawned, and we all felt emotionally and physically drained.
Nevertheless, the work of dealing with Harold and Grace's estate lay before us.
Each of us sorted, separated, donated, gave away or sold their belongings. We fixed up their home for sale, painting inside and out.
Finally, 6 months later, Hal and I set the few remaining items in the driveway for one last garage sale.

Neighbors, Christine and Alfonso, stopped by.
"you know, we visited your dad in the nursing home," Alfonso told us.
"No, we didn't know that," Hal said.
"one afternoon i told Christine, 'We need to go see Harold.' We went right then. When i walked into his room," Alfonso said," his face lit up! He was so happy to see us. So i just started telling him about Jesus."
"Really?" Hal asked, glancing at me.
"your dad said he wasn't ready to go," Alfonso said."I told him, 'I'm not saying that you're going to die, but we all need to be ready.' I explained to him about Jesus and then asked if he'd like to ask Jesus to be his Saviour. He began to weep and said yes, so i led him in a prayer."

"We had no idea! when did this happen?" I asked, incredulously.
"Well," Alfonso thought for a moment, "he died early the next morning."
"I prayed with your mother too." christine added.
"When the ambulance came for your dad, i stayed with her. I asked her if she was sure she'd go to heaven when she died and she said no, so i prayed with her so she could be sure."

"Your parents are in heaven," Alfonso declared.
I know.

Thats the end of this story...
And i really do hope that you will get touched by this story and just continue to pray for those who are unsaved..
You will never know, maybe right before they die, they will get saved?
Maybe God will send one of His servants to share with them about the gospel?

What i learnt is, only until the day they die, there is still hope.

God bless you always ^^