Leading worship

Hey hey!! couldn't come online the past few days cause i always come back late...hahhaa=)
Anyways..today i had choir prac at G2 then leading worship at G1 for children's church (CC) then Choir combined prac at G2 again!
Really had a super busy day travelling around...
Oh! anws, i wanna talk about the part whereby i lead worship at G1 for CC..

Today, i lead worship at CC...it was a terrible one...actually i expected it before i lead..
For all those who don't know, leading worship here means to stand infront, holding the mic...etc..
Do you know why i expected it?
Cause previously i led before for the P5s and P6s for 3 services and i totally screwed it up...=(
i got like leaders in the church saying that i can do better and saying that this time it is not very good previously...etc..
Actually, i would prefer them not to say anything...cause i already knew i screwed up...they made me feel worst..
It was never easy leading worship...we had to use hand gestures to signal the musician like when to sing the chorus, verse and bridge...and we have to know when to come in with thee music to sing and we have to pray in between songs and do the transitions..etc..with fear!
It was never easy...and the leaders in church always have such high expectations of me being a leader and being able to lead..they never considered that it was my first time previously...

This is like my first time leading worship for the P1s to P6s...a larger group..
And as usual i was scared...
The first two songs is i choose one...it is amazing God and with Christ in the vessel..they are action songs...
The last two are everyday and from the inside out..chosen by eloise(my loved one!)
the first two songs were ok...but when it came to the third and fourth song, everything went bad...i couldn't go with the pianist (abigail)...and the children, only a few were singing...i was scared...i screamed for God's help...
After the whole thing, i was just in a state of shock and sadness...
i told eloise, elo, i don't think i am meant to lead worship...i don't have a gift in this area at all...i wanna give up...i don't think that i am able to lead worship..and my voice sucks=(" actually i expected it la...
eloise say,"no! God give you a nice voice for a reason! and your gift is here! the worst thing is to give up on yourself and to have self fulfilling prophesy!"
Oh! i haven tell you all, cause my dream is to become a christian singer in future....so i was real sad...

After that, while i was still feeling real discouraged and sad, while i was watching some christmas movie in the children's church ministry, the Holy spirit spoke to me....
i realise that i shouldn't give up just like that...cause maybe God is preparing me to lead in future...thats why he is placing so many opportunities right infront of me now to let me practice, fail and learn...when i fail i learn...i should thank God that he let me fail in church, in front of a small no. of people...i dunno what the future has install for me...but what i am sure is that God will take care of it!"
A song came into my mind...the song is"voice of truth"
one part of the lyrics goes...."To step out of my comfort zone, to the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, and he is holding his hand. But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me, reminding me of all the times i tried before and failed. The waves at keep on telling me, time and time again, Boy, you'll never win!.....But the voice of truth, tells me a different story..."

As long as you look to God in everything you do and not focus on the times you have failed, but the on times you have succeeded, i am sure God will allow you to succeed oneday!
Do not focus on whats other's comments are on you, but focus on what God has to say to you...
As long as you do that, even the hardest wind, can never blow you away...
Look at the future and not what you might be facing now!
Rmb to read his word daily! and God will speak to you!
Don't let satan win!! yeah!!
Jia you!

God bless!!