Failures and love

Have you ever thought that the world around you is tumbling down,
whereby you realise how small and worthless you can become?
Whereby you think that you are like a small gross and disgusting little creature that God created and can never be compared to God.
Have you ever thought about the fact that you do not even deserve the love from God who is perfect?
Have you ever thought about how amazing God can be, not in terms of the blessings, power or even the help that he can provide, but just that he is God and it is only right for us to worship and love him for who he is...not what he can do..
I have.

And i can see that we always fail to realise and to recongnise all these..
From my point of view, i feel that people are very realistic and superficial..(including me)
Do you realise that many of the times you love someone because he/she can do things for you?
You love the person according to their abilities..
The world today accept people and embrace them according to what they can do..
Let me list you a few examples, lets just say you are talented in playing the piano or any other musical instrument, or that you are talented in singing, there are several competitions that comes with fame and recognition...fans, crowds and crowds of people love you for what you can do...
Even in schools, in the classrooms, your classmates and teachers usually love those people who are smarter and scores well in their examination. You will realise that they look basically on acadamics or ccas and stuff...not on just who you are.
Even your parents, they sometimes fall into the trap...they can say how much they love you, buy you things that you want when you did well in school...but, they will also scold you, hit you and ignore you when you cannot reach up to their expectations of you...

But there is one love that you can find that is totally different and seperates from the worldly love that we experience...
This love comes from God...he loves you for a very simple reason that you are you...
Even if you ignore him, he loves you.
If you hate him, he loves you.
You do things that he hates or loves, he loves you just as much...
He is more concerned with your personality, what is inside and not on your abilities...
Thats why there is a song that has a title called "change inside of me"....the chorus goes..."i will raise my voice like thunder, leave the world in wonder of this change, the change inside of me...and i will never stop believing, you are the reason for this change, the change inside of me.."

There was once i was feeling really down and unworthy for God because i cannot find any one thing that is worthy of me to God...
I just feel like a fail in so many areas in my life,
I fail as a christian,
I fail as a friend,
I fail as a daughter,
I fail as a sister...
I just feel like i fail in everything...
I spoke to my mentor Grace about it...
She told me that i should not feel unworthy because even God says that i am worthy..
And she told me the talents story in the bible in matthew chap 25 verse 14 to 29...
For all those who don't know, i shall summerise for you..
There are 3 servants, they each recieve talents from their master...
their master leave them to the talents and went away on a journey...
The first man got 5, the second got 2 and the last got 1 talent only...
Both the first and second men use their talents to create more talents for their master, except for the last man with only one talent..
When the master came back, he was happy with the first 2 men but not with the last..
This story shows that God give people different talents and different gifts..whether it is more or lesser than others...
As long as you use what you have for God, to sow the seeds, he will be happy.
You may not seem to have many gifts or the abilities that you want, but just remember that God will use you mightily for his kingdom in his own time.
You may feel that you just wanna give up and grew tired of carrying the crosses, growing more and more stress about doing the works of God and being a christian...
(go listen to the song sang by Corrinne May-The Answer)
Even though you fail many times, as long you are willing to stand up and try again, you are not a failure!
Phui see tells me, "A true failure is one that gives up trying."
When one is weak, he/she is made strong in God!
2 corinthians chap 12 verse 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."
so when you are facing times whereby you just wanna give up, always pray and look towards God, about how much he loves you and places things in your life for a reason!

There is something that i learnt from Grace...
Have you ever asked the question as to why must God use us to evangelise and sow the seeds?
God is God! he is so powerful! There is no need for us to help him, he can do it by himself!
The reason why God wants us to sow seeds and get persecuted and go through all these is to let us get a feel of how He feels...
He wants us to have a compassion for the people, compassion for the lost just like He does..
He wants us to have a feel of the pain when your friends turn away from you just like how people turn away from God when he loves them so so much!

God loves you!!