Have? Don have?

I went to the hospital today and i felt that God spoke alot of things to me through the holy spirit..
You must be wondering why i went to the hospital (SGH) rite?
My grandma is really really sick..she got kidney failure and she did an operation on her neck area to stick 2 thick needles into her neck for blood washing, she cannot walk, she cannot control her pee, she cannot swallow properly then the water that she can drink have to be thicken by adding some powder thingy to prevent choking...and stuff..it is really very cham one..
Pray for her k!

Anws, my emphaize today is about my trip there^^
There is this maid that attended to her like almost 24 hours (the maid is last time from my uncle's house de) because my grandma was like very scared..she don want to be left alone..
When i went there for the first time today, the room was without aircon and i talked to my grandma and the maid..then when my grandma fell asleep, i talked and laugh with the maid..

As i see how the maid take care of my grandma, i started to realise that it wasn't easy...
Cause when the maid go off for a short while, my grandma wanted to puke and stuff..even i have difficulty trying to help her..
I think people like my grandma and many other grandma's in the ward requires alot of patience to be taken care of..
Every single action that my grandma do, auntie budi(the maid) will take note..even when my grandma speak very very softly in hokkien, budi will still be able to hear and she will immediately attend to her with a cheerful heart...
it ranges from taking the tissue, wanting to turn the body to sleep, wanting to adjust the bed up and down, wanting to place the pillow in a certain direction, wanting to vomit...etc.
budi also do not even have a nice bed to sleep at night, every single night...she could only sleep on the chair...but she always attend to her happily and really go all the way out for her, even when she wants to sleep..
It is like my grandma will wake up anytime and budi must be there to help.
And whenever my grandma want to eat sweet stuff, budi will say, "Don't eat" in hokkien..and my grandma will insist and of course at the end budi gave her alittle..
Because of that, she vomited...

Sometimes i look at her, and i really admire her for the things she has done.
Think about it, she has no blood relationship with my grandma and she has to do all these, i really don understand how happy can she feel...but still, she do it will love...
At my grandma's most helpless and vulnerable state, she is there to lend a helping hand..

As a look at my grandma's back view when she is sleeping, i realised that she is just like a child that needs to be attended and supported alot as it grows..

I started to think about God's love..
i think God's love is just like how budi cared and loved my grandma..
Always taking care very sincerely and always there whenever people call out to Him..
Every single time we call for help, He has always been there helping and just being side by side with us, walking through the problems or situations that we are facing with us...
He is always carrying us on his back.
Everytime we want to do certain things (like how my grandma wanted to eat sweet stuff), God will be there to stop and correct us with love and the intention that he wants to give us the best and what is good for us...and if we do not listen and still want to do it, he will not forcefully stop us, but to help us to learn and to stand up on our own feet with his help, after we suffer the consequences even though it may hurt him to see us suffer...
Even for those who are not children of God yet, those who are unsaved, God still provides for them, God still give them the many blessings..whether it is in material terms or people around them who cares for them...etc.

I ever read this book, and it talks about God giving us a taste of abit of heaven and abit of hell on earth...so there is good and evil (suffering) on earth until we die..
So it is up to us to make a decision as to what kind of life we want to lead and choose in our afterlife..
And i feel that it is quite amazing as to how many always choose hell in a way..
Alot of times they know that doing something is wrong but they still do it anyways...

I started to shift my view towards the bed next to my grandma's.
That patient is also another grandma..and she have a huge thick tube stuck to her neck and is connected to some machine..
i heard from my brother, who heard from budi that she also have a huge tube-like thingy stuck to her stomach..
That means, she got a hole at her neck and stomach..
and it is only through those holes that she can then breathe and eat because her body could no longer do that for her..

Just breathing and eating, such basic tasks of a human body, she cannot even do and have so so much difficulty doing it..

I started to think about the question on, "Are we taking our lives for granted?"
We always think about the things that we don have, then always say, "i hope, i wish this this this will happen/ i wish, i am born pretty/ i wish i didn't have to live/ i wish my family wasn't like that..etc" All these hopes and wishes shows us that we are focusing on the things that we don't have that are beyond our control..
And as we focus on the things we don't have, we will tend to neglect and forget about the things that we actually do have...
People out there are trying their best to survive..
People like the grandma, she cannot even breathe and eat!
Shouldn't we appreciate and treasure the fact that we are healthy? the fact that we are able to breathe...etc.
For everything in your everyday life, there is something to thank God about..
for the grandma, she can be thankful to the fact that she is living in singapore and have the technology to help her...at least she got a bed to sleep on, at least she got hands and legs, at least she still has a God that loves her..
It depends on how you view things in the many situations that you are facing..

If we keep on focusing on the things that we don't have, we will be a very very unhappy and uncontented person..
Just rmb that there will always be someone worst than you in everything that you face, you will feel that you are really already very blessed by God.

Learn to treasure what you have today! especially on the things or people that you have difficulty loving and treasuring.

God loves you more than you can expect!