Bintan and simplicity

hey hey! sorry for not updating for quite a long time..have been kinda busy and stuff with the real programme! and i just came back from my first mission trip! Bintan!
My misson trip in Bintan is only a 3 day 2 night mission trip. sat, sun and mon.
The whole real team, we basically allocated tasks for different people..some did preaching, MCing, organised tuition lessons, children's programme, testimony sharing..etc.
The food places that we went to were so good! really super nice!
For me, i had to lead the second day of the children's church.
I am going to talk about my experience leading the children's church programme.


For me, i am a person who is not really a leader..
I am better at following..i just cannot really lead.
Joey (the person in charge of the whole real programme) purposely placed me in a leadership position).
At first when i heard that i needed to lead a children's programme for like 2 hours, i got scared but at the same time thought it will be ok..cause i love children and i had some dealing with children background (because i was in children's ministry two years back) so i had confidence that i would be able to communicate with the kids.


I was placed at the first children's programme which was held at sat night.
But somethings cropped up and i was placed at the second one on sun morning.
For the sat night's one, we went to a house and there were alot of children! and the house is kinda small..i think there were about 40 to 50 of them squeezed in a small room.
I got a shock when i saw it.
My group wasn't the one leading the children's programme for the first night so i just sat back and observe the situation, thinking of ways as to how to improve my programmes planned to better cater to the lack of space and so many children.
The other group did worship songs followed by one of the guys from real team, samuel stepped in to drag time because the group which is leading,didn't know what to do.
He was real good.
It was like he was basically born to do it kind because he was able to capture the attention of the kids and really had fun with the limited amount of space..doing magic tricks, games..he can bascially run the whole programme by himself.
The group was really glad that he came to save them and i was too..i was really very amazed at how he is about to connect with the kids despite the language barrier.
Next on the schedule was origami...they had to learn how to fold paper hearts as the group that is leading took over from samuel.
during this time, i really panicked.
i sat aside and really try to think of ways to connect with the kids on the sun morning's programme..i was very motivated to run it well for my children's programme (but it didn't last for very long.)
As for the origami hearts, mine also had origami but it is cranes instead.
but because of the huge amount of children and little manpower, the children soon got restless and started to walk around and go into the room i was in.
So i thought it was ok to play with them and stuff but i realised i was pulling them away from the leading group.


Anws, the children's programme was bascially kinda screwed up if not for samuel who is not even supposed to run any children's programme to step in and help.
There were alot of unexpected and everyone left with a heart that is very discouraged.
For me, my motivation disappeared, and i thought to myself, "i can never be as good as samuel..how am i supposed to connect with the kids?"
And all the other negative thoughts start to pop up in my mind...things like, i will not be able to lead..i am not even born a leader..
And all the past failures in church with regards to me leading worship, me as a person, critisisms that i recieved from people, from leaders at start to come in..and i just felt totally drained out and i was so confident that i am not able to do it..it really took away all my happiness.

That sat night after the service, i talked to joey (because he noticed there was something wrong with me) and i told him stuff..
He is one person that motivated me quite abit...there was something that he said that i remembered..."the reason why i gave you this role is not because i have confidence in you..but it is because i have confidence in God that God can work through you."
I was afraid of failures..i was afraid at how people look at me as a failure..and how incapable i am..
I keep on telling him, what if i fail?
he said that it doesn't matter whether i fail or not. fail then fail la...so what?
i got really comforted.
Samuel also keep on telling me that i am able to do it.


that sat night, alot of people came to leng shan's and i the room to help.
Whether related to the programme or not, they all came to help.
these people were..david, joshua. kah sheng, leng shan, samuel, nigel and jia liang.
I asked for ideas and stuff..we did rehearsals for the skit, created by josh. we did story telling by nigel and many others.
The best thing is that it lastest till 4 am in the morning!
And we had to wake up at 6.30 to 7.
Even gaomin who didn't really know why i am so stressed out and quiet wrote for me a note as encouragement.
Josh wrote a note for me too..

Before i lead the children's church thingy on sun morn, people like joey came to encourage and motivate me once again! He kept on saying that i can do it and he will be there to jia you me and stuff..
As for samuel, he pulled me aside and prayed for me..
As for joshua, he keep on telling me that he will be there so got him to back up..don't need to worry.
Leading the children was a very tiring experience because alot of actions and energy is required..
But after the whole thing, i felt very happy about it and it was a success for me personally.
How i wish i am able to stay there with them like longer.

I just got really amazed at how small little things that people do can really speak into the lives of some..
A simple "hello" or a smile can actually brighten some who had a tough day..
A simple hug can actually make one feel loved and accepted.
A simple tap on the back can actually make someone feel so so encouraged.
Simple words like, "well done"," jia you!" "don't worry", "i'll be there"..etc.
can actually touch someone.
There is no need to create fanciful words or actions just to impress someone or speak into the life of someone..
This is one of the beauty of simplicity.
The sad part is, not many people do so..
If you were to ask me what is the top thing that i gained from this trip to bintan, i would say the friendships forged.
i am just really glad and contented to have friends like these in my life to lend me a helping hand in my times of helplessness.
Really wanna thank God for it.

SIMPLICITY OF FAITH

On the journey back to singapore, on the ship, i went to the top level which is open air to look at the scenery, i also learnt some stuffs.
Looking at the sky, the clouds and the oceans, seeing the sun setting, looking at the birds flying in the air so freely...so many colours all around me and with the wind blowing my hair all around...
It was such an enjoyment for me..because i was finally out of city life..out of places with buildings and concrete structures..i love connecting with nature and just to look at it, enjoy it and appreciate it quietly...

One of my two dreams is to become a pilot..because i love the sky and to be with it.
Looking at far away airplanes fly past, i really wish to be the one driving it...

Anws, coming back to the topic, i was looking at the sky, clouds and the seas i was just simply stunned by how big this thing is!
Its like you look all around, there is no ending in it...you don't see an end..the sky and the oceans stretches across a large large area..too big for me to see or comprehend.
I felt very comforted as i look at the sky and the moon. and was in awe at how big and amazing God can be..
He is the one that created all these! and i am so super small and insignificant as compared to it..
I mean like if you compare the surface area that i occupy against these things, i will be almost nothing...like zero.
But still, God chose us to govern the whole earth.
The question in my mind was, 'why didn't He choose someone bigger to take rule and control? won't it be better?'

These are sights which you cannot really capture when you are on land and esp in a city area or areas with alot of pollution and buildings and vehicles kind.
Its just like a frog in a well.
we are like frogs..
The sky that we see is only one small area out of the vast skies that are out there.
It is just like what we see in life is only one small little portion of the entire thing..
it is just like God. what we percieve and know who God really is, is only one small portion of His entire being.
I realised that when i saw that the sky and oceans that i can see and comprehend at the position i am in, is very limited..
It becomes more limited when i am in a city, with high rise buildings all around and very little sky can be seen.
so actually the people who are living in the villages are actually more fortunate and blessed in terms of being able to get intouch with nature and being able to get a better grasp and hold of the sky and the clouds.
In the same way, although the villages do not have alot of money, they are able to grasp the goodness of God so much more easily..because they do not have anything much to start of with.
They have more time to spend with God and not get so caught up with things to do and deadlines to reach..etc. they are able to appreciate the simple things in life.

One more thing that i learnt is that even though i can describe so much to you..like the sky, the sun, the moon, the oceans,the waves..etc. You won't be able to get the full picture and experience because you are not in it.
You really have to experience and look at the whole thing yourself to really get amazed by it.
even if i were to take pictures of it and show you, you won't be able to fully understand.
Morever, pictures can only take portions of it..not the whole thing..
Similarly, God is just like that.
I can tell you..God loves you up till the point that He is willing to die for you!
But at the end of the day you can still feel very indifferent about it.
Only when you take a step of faith and experience the love God can give, then you will get the full experience.
Then will you be able to get the picture and be amazed by it.

Alot of people think that christianity and God is a very difficult thing to grasp..alot of theories and stuff..
But actually it is the simplicity of it that keeps the faith going.
It is just that God loves you so so much that He is willing to sent His son down to suffer and die for us so that we can live with Him once again in heaven. We love Him because He first loved us.
Isn't it very simple?
God just wants us to love Him.
That is what keeps faith going...love.

God loves you!