A run amongst the terrace houses

I never liked running...
I find it mentally and physically draining..
I like to do all kinds of sports besides running.
But i realised that sometimes i need to do so...
running is one of the only sports that one can do alone.
I run whenever i feel upset about something and i really needed to release it out..

This has been the second time in my life that i ran...alone.
Why? i just felt really upset, frustrated and confused with my feelings..
As i was running today, i was searching for something, a sign, anything from God.
I just needed a word of comfort from Him.
I wanted Him to speak to me.

I searched really hard, running uphill, down hill, looking up at the sky and everything..only to hear fierce dogs barking at me..
I reached a deserted playground and i sat on the swing, breathless, trying to catch my breath and tasting what i had enjoyed in the past when i was a little girl and the current me.

Going back to a few days ago, i was at my house downstairs waiting for the lift to arrive.
I saw 2 maids and 3 children.
One of the little tiny boy was really very very cute.
he just give the innocent smile and by the shirt he was wearing, he was from "apple tree" a nursery.
There were 2 other girls beside him..they were sitting on a table.

I started to think when i entered the lift, how beautiful the world is to this little boy..
everywhere is just filled with raindows and lots of fun!
Why is it that as we grow, we start to see a world of bleakness?
Why is it that as we grow, our "rainbow world" starts to fade away?
Is it due to human complexity or the so called maturity?
"can innocence and complexity coexist?"
i think they can.
Because it depends very much on how one thinks.
It is just like the little boy and adults. they all live in the same world and see the same things...but they in a way "see" the things differently too..
Thats why i love kids. I love their innocence and happiness which also affects how others around feel. i wanna be like them.

Coming back to the running part.
As i was swinging on the swing and looking at the scenery around me, i realised that if i stretched out my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing back and forth.
The only thing is that i have to make the effort and perservere putting my legs straight for a long period of time.
And finally, i got too tired, i dropped my legs and soon after, the swing stopped moving.
I started to think (i dunno whether it is from the Holy Spirit or not) but i start to relate it to church.
If i continue to perservere on just like me keeping my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing. But if i choose to give up just like that, there will be no chance of it moving anymore, just like my spiritual walk with God.
the message here is, don't give up..don't give up nicole.

I stood up from the swing and turned around, i saw 2 very old couple exercising together..they were like smiling and stuff..i think they are like in their 80s already with pure white hair..
It really comforted me because it showed me that there is actually hope in marriages..
Why i think that way?
I think it is because what i see in this world today is broken marriages of all religions..
divorse rates shooting high up.

There was something else that noticed.
It was the London kind of the telephone booth! (the red one)
i thought there was a phone in there...
As i walk towards it excitedly, and peeked into it, what i saw was nothing.
then i walked away and started running again..
when i ran up the hill, i saw another of the same thing like amongst the houses..
i was very happy at first.
But when i peeked into it, i saw nothing again.
the message that i thought of is, "what appears to be, may not be what it is."
and i thought about other churches this time.
No matter how good i think the other churches are, it may not be what i think it is.

It has been a very interesting run as long as you go with an open heart and mind, searching for stuff to look into and think about, God speaks. (you just got to know how to desifer them)^^

God bless you guys.