My reflections and thoughts

Hey hey! just wanna share with you some of the experiences and reflections i have done.
Today i went out with leng shan and eloise after baptism service and stuff and we ate sakura international buffet for dinner and i was kinda starving!
The food was not too bad...i took alot of the seafood and stuff (like that then worth it mah).
I took mainly clams, mussels, oysters, salmon sushimi, prawns..etc.
I really enjoyed the food but it was kinda ex though.

Anws, during the buffet, there is a need for people to stand up and go and take the food.
So happily, i was left alone like twice while leng shan and elo went to take food together..they love to pang sei me..
So i just continued eating..
But for the second time they left for a longer time like 10 min..
So i dunno why i start to reflect about stuff..
I started to not enjoy the food that i am eating even though i am like eating baby octopus and sambal oysters which are kinda good stuff.
And i know the reason why. Its because i am eating alone.

If you think about it. If you were to be given alot of money and alot of good food to eat but you don't have any friends or relatives to share it with.
You'll go shopping alone, eat alone..etc.
For me, i think that even if the best of the best food is placed in front of me, i may feel very happy for awhile, but without people around to share it with you, the tastest food can also become very blend and without taste.
Don't you realise that food can taste real good when you got someone who is fighting for it with you? but when you got the whole thing to yourself it is not as nice anymore?

So actually the purpose of me saying this is because i wanna encourage anyone who read this to think about the people around you. The people that you are in good terms with, whom you go out with whom you have fun, laughter and joy with.
Not forgetting the people whom you do not like talking to and being with, be it your friends or your family members.
One may be quarrelling all day with the person but one day, when it is all gone and the person leaves you, you will realise that something is missing. Something that you once hated to have becomes something that you really want to have.
So, whether it is your loved ones or the unlovables, i believe they are all gifts from God.
Each of them play a special role in your life and there is a reason for them to be there be it your choice or not.
Learn to treasure.

Another thing that struck me today was, i was talking to someone about giving up on the people around me. Giving up on the people that i care, be it prayers or anything else.
Because i just felt very tired out.
I am someone with very little perserverence and loves to run away from everything and very result oriented too. Not in terms of studies but in the spiritual sense.
Be it friends or family, it is very difficult for me to be faithful in prayer for them every single day. Difficult for me to reach out to something which i am not able to see any results in.

Let me rephrase.
Er...it is like i try to spread the gospel, try to provide encouragement and to pray for God to move and touch their hearts that He may use me and give me the strength in bring people back to Christ.
Some people, from what i see are kinda hopeless.
They just shuts themselves up from God's word. Shuts themselves up from allowing God to touch their hearts. Their hearts are hardened like rocks.
Not interested in everything that God has to tell them...not literally, but through friends or sermons if they were to go to church.
And my normal reaction is just to run away and not get involved with people whom i deemed are "hopeless" and cannot be saved because they don't care or don't wanna care.
The more i get involved, the more i get hurt and angered.

Alot of people seek God through the things of this world, one of my friend told me.
Some examples are like people having several boy and girlfriends, go drinking, clubbing, having sex and many others is because they wanna search for something more in life. Be it love, fun, enjoyment, contentment, a sense of belongingness and security. Whatever that can satisfy their heart they will go and do it.
Come to think of it, actually all these things that people are searching and looking for can actually be found in God and it is what God is and what God can give.
These things fill up the void in people's lives as people strive to find meaning and something to do in this meaningless world. They try to find it in the world be it people or doing stuff.
This is because we are made with a yearing to seek and find God and many of us try to find it in people.

Some people just wanna run away from this void that they end up hurting themselves. Doing things that they should not have done or are meaningless to do so.
They do these things to waste or to pass time away every single day.
Maybe the reason as to why they don't wanna turn to God no matter what happens is because they don't wanna get spiritual and stuff and go into any religion, or they once got hurt my the church before. Different people with different reasons and different problems.

Can you identify with these people?
Are you someone who knows people who are like this?
Just wanna encourage those people who have friends or family members who are like these to perservere no matter what happens.
The greatest power is in prayer..even though you cannot really see anything happening but continue to have the confidence that prayer works in the spiritual realms. They are weapons that defeat the devil.
With this confidence, press on in prayer for those whom you love no matter how long it takes until the point of death.
Because when there is one day where the person haven die, there is still one day of hope of salvation.
This may also apply for your christian friends as well...friends that are not living a life as a christian.
It is going to be tough and sometimes you may just feel like giving up.
But always rmb that God hasn't given up on your friend so you shouldn't too.
In every weakness, you can then see how God uses you and works through your life. Because God strength is seen in the weakness of every individual.
In every struggle, its the process of every growth.

As for those who can identify with what i have just said, why not try finding it in God and not end up going around in circles? If you never try, you will never know^^ try accepting that freely given love that God has provided just for you. He died and sacrificed, so that you may live again. Live a meaningful and purposeful life once again.

Lets press in and not give up as one body of Christ!

God bless you guys!

2012

Hey hey! today i went to watch 2012 movie with my friend^^
I know it may seem kinda late to watch it since it is shown like so long ago..
But i really recommend you guys to watch it if you all have a chance to.
The effects are really great! like fantastic!
I was watching the movie and it was like WO!
After watching the movie, i reflected alot about it.

Alot of the parts of the movie show people who are selfish.
People are struggling for survival, struggling to live, running to preserve their lives!
As buildings tear apart, glass shatter and ground crumbling down.
You see people dying, getting crushed my falling and rolling objects, falling into large cracks in the ground and getting washed away by the tsunami, falling from high lvls just like ants falling down from the table.
As i watch the movie with so many so many people dying, it doesn't really make a difference whether one extra person dies or not. Every life does not seem to hold much significance.
So it really amazed me as to why God holds every person's life with so much significance when He is so huge sees all of us as ants. He knows every person's name and the no. of hairs each of us have! i mean, we don't even know the no. of hairs with have. Thats the amount of detail God looks at us individuals.

As people try to fight for their survival, many of them are at the expense of others. It caused the death of others.
There was a scene towards the end whereby the gates are closed and alot of people are not allowed to get into the ships. As they gather towards the curb, they were pushing towards the front and the people in front who are not strong enough end up falling over and dying one by one as they drop over...
The question is, "why are they pushing towards the front?" because they wanted to fight to live and not care about others.
It is a human nature to be selfish, to fight for one's own rights, one's own property, one's own freedom..etc.
When this happens esp in this competitive world, "who cares about the rest right? i happy thats all that matters."
But God=love. He is the most sacrificial person i have ever known. He is willing to die for you and i when he is not guilty of anything at all. He is willing to die for you and i even when we do not even know Him, even before we are born when He did not need to do it nor go through all these sufferings. When He could have let everyone die and go to hell (all the little ants), He chose to provide a way out. I think this act and choice is the most precious memory that anyone can have of Jesus Christ. When you say someone is selfish? Jesus is the exact opp of it.

The story goes whereby only the chosen ones get to board the ships, with only about 5 ships in total, stationed in china, it is impossible to hold everyone from all around the world.
The chosen ones are the wealthy, the smart ones, different genes to repopulate, the ones that can contribute.
Those which are poor and not as smart do not get a chance to board but just to die.
I started to think if Jesus was in the movie, he will be one of those who are poor and work in a low paid job. He would be amongst those whom are doomed and predicted to die, not having any chance of escape.
I think this is something to think about. Why would Jesus want to mix around with the poor and as the world sees are people who are "nothing"? He could have transformed into someone who is rich and powerful, probably the president.
Because He favours those who thinks they have got nothing but God. Those who needs Him and not the rich and snoty who thinks they have got every right and everything they need.
This is why, He seeks and uses those who are deemed failures and not those who are successful.

At the point of death, i saw families hugging each other, trying to fight to stay together and stay alive. Families calling one another to bid their last goodbye, to seek for forgiveness and love. I realised one thing. What the movie potrays is that family is the most important thing that anyone, even the richest or toughest guy seeks for. Even who may seem as the coldest guy has feelings and that human beings have feelings and seeks love and loves. This is what makes a human human.
I realised that the people that will stand by each other, miss each other and look out for each other even until the point of death, is your family. They are the closest to you even though some of you may not feel that way. I am not a family person too. But think about it and place your focus onto the right place.

I hope this encourages some people out there who reads my blog.

God Bless you

Growing up?

It has been so super long since i every posted something because i was busy with A lvls and i have got nothing much to say..i guess i have been too involved with me and myself that sometimes i forget to see the things around me.
Oh well..today i just wanna talk about my experiences on wednesday.

Eloise invited me to be a volunteer for a day at some kinderrden because they needed helpers to take care of the children because they are having come major performance at the NUS cultural centre.
What i know is that that kindagarden got alot of branches so they got like so many so many children.
Eloise and i took care of the 3 and 4 year olds...but mostly the 3 year olds.

it started around 8.30 am and ended around 10pm..
The schedule roughly was that the children gather at the kindergarden in the morning then took the bus to NUS then have rehearsal then take the bus back and go home to sleep from 2 to 4.30 then come back at 5 to head to NUS again for the real thing from 7 to 9.30 because of the so many so many performances from ages 3 to 6.
Eloise and i only get the watch abit of the rehearsals full view..

Anws, i wanted to talk about children.
Children? to some it may be something that they really really dread hearing. they just wanna kill them kind.
To some, they just get excited when they see children.
To me, i just love them..and i am going to tell you why..

When i first entered the kindergarden, and the kids came in one by one, they were really all extremely cute! some you can tell will be super cute when they grow up, some only cute at that point of time and some not say very cute la..but most of them are just adorable.
I was a stranger to them at first and i was basically talking to myself.
Not knowing how to relate to them, what to talk about and how to go about making them feel comfortable inorder to talk to me, i just tried my very best to think in their shoes and be who i was 15 years ago.
But i failed at first. they were so so quiet and unresponsive..they just stared at me with their huge sparkling eyes.
(btw, there is this guy that i think super look like eddie if you all know him)


On the bus trip to NUS, i met the 4 years olds and i met this guy that eloise said looked like joseph, his name is kirk...all the bus trips of a total of around 60 min was just basically him and i talking..he was really open as we talked about common topics like ben 10, transformers and stuff as i thought him shadows as to how to make butterflies..etc. He was a really polite boy too!

Skipping to the rehearsals part, as i watched them practice as the song plays with their great looking costumes with many different themes for different groups of kids, the performances were messy..children are like fidgiting around, uncoordinated moves..etc. But overall, it was really very cute too as everyone clap their hands and encouraged the kids despite their failures and the many mistakes. It was good performance..
I asked the kids how was it and are they very scared? They said no..and it was very fun. They can't wait to do it again.

As i sat back and watch the whole scene, i started to think about life.
Life as in the growing up process.
Why is it that as we grow, the many expectations grow with us?
Why is it that as we grow, people demand for more perfection?
Does that mean that as we grow, mistakes should get lesser?
Does it mean that as we grow, mistakes cannot be made and it will just disappear?
Shouldn't performances be something that is fun and exciting? of course i know we must show the results...but at the end of the day what is the thing that lasts? the medal? or the experience?

As i see how anxious and proud the so many parents can be when they pick their kids up,
i started to compare..what will happen in 10 years time for them?
will the parents still treat them the same?
This, really saddens me.

As time passes and i had to help the kids to open their food and bringing them to the toilet and helping them do their businesses and change their clothes, these started to pay off a little by a little.
They started to open up to me.
I started to teach them a new game and played with them, talked to them, read to them..etc while waiting for the bus to come.
They started to come to me for help and shared with me issues like who bully who and who push who kind of thing.
The amazing thing was that they can be angry with each other, showing their faces of anger and guilt, but the next moment they can be ok and happy with one another again.

This point really touches me because the world of children reall differs from the world of the adults.
Not only are the issues different, the people also get changed and get shaped because of age.
I dunno whether you can call it a good thing or not.
We tend to conceal our feelings. We can show that we are good friends with the other party but actually we dislike them deep inside.
Sometimes i do feel that we are like hypocrates.
We always try to only show our happy and good side even if we are angry and sad.
I have no idea why..don't normal human beings have feelings?
I guess it may be due to pride and face.

In the children's world, even when the adults scold them and they got scared by them, or any random kid dislike any of the teachers for example, I realise that once that teacher or the adults treat them nicely and better, they will do the same.
I think this is something that all of us have to learn from.
Some may argue that this is because the kids forgot about the incident.
But i choose to believe that they forgave the person who wronged them very easily and do not hold any grudges.
Don't you think this is just amazing?

I dunno why i started to relate to the kids to old people too...
These two groups of people are people who require the most concern and help.
Why?
Because they are the most vulnerable ones and get cheated very easily especially in the complexity of the world as some might say.
The children are unable to take care of themselves and do basic activities and stuff like peeing, helping them to climb the stairs and stuff..

Oh! The one thing that i saw was that the kids were holding the hands of their friends...they do not bother whether he/she is a guy or a girl..and i thought it was really very cute because they were all so happy to be with their friends..as they try to cheer those who are crying and unhappy up, trying to stand up for the right thing and to prevent their friends from getting bullied..

But as we grow up, all these things starts to blur...

And i myself get into this confusion...

The world of children is just so clear cut and simple.

Even though they might be living in the same world as all of us, they are also living in another world. In their very own little world.

You may think this is just being unrealistic and childish..but i think, the world of children is just amazing.

I guess thats why Jesus loved the little children too.

Someone once told me, "life is complicated."

But i still believe that life is simple. Only if you believe it to be so..because, you once lived a simple and happy life.

God loves you

Death

Have you ever thought about death before?
Death is an issue that is often avoided by many...whenever death is concerned, people will be uncomfortable talking about it.
Death is also can issue that is usually talked about by the elderly, the old, the sick..etc.
You do not really see the young who appear energetic and vibrant talking about death.
Don't you think it is kind of weird as to why people do not talk about it when everyone will get to experience death sooner or later?
Why is it so?
Death is something that is unknown, hidden..
There are several reasons as to why people do not want to die that i currently observe.
1. They have unfinished business..whether it is with regards to family, friends, carrier, education, sports or anything that one desires to complete but is not completed.
2. They are afraid of what comes after death...(who knows? unless one experiences it rite?)
3. They do not want to leave the things and people that they currently have and own eg. money.
4. They just don't want their life to end so quickly.


People always say, "i am too young to die!"
What i can say is, no one is too young to die.
When death comes our way, even science cannot stop it..
Anyone can die anytime...you do not really know or predict when one will die right?
It comes like a rushing wind..
There was a song that goes, "i am, a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tmr, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapour in the wind."
This song shows how short our life is and how quickly it will come to past.
It also shows the fragility of life.

You must be wondering how come i suddenly talked about death..
These few days, i have been asking God to speak to me, cause i really want to hear from Him..it just feels kinda weird that everything i do, i do it without asking Him nor waiting for His reply..i felt that the things that i say, do not really have the essence of God within it.
What i didn't realise is that God always spoke to me..and today it all started to make sense.

I was rushing for the class party today and i was already quite late...
As i was walking to my house busstop, i saw the bus...so my first reaction was to run to the next busstop..and so, i crossed the road without the traffic light.
The many cars stopped because of the traffic light and i started to run across..i didn't see a motorbike travelling in the midst of the cars and it almost ran over me..
It was kinda fast and if i were to take a step further and faster, i would have been in the hospital already..
Quite scary rite?
But what amazed me was my own reaction...i wasn't even a tiny bit scared..
i just retreated then ran forward again..
I was telling my two other friends that it felt as if i was ready to go..
Because i had previous incidents with cars almost banging me down in the past i got really scared and tramatized..it was different this time..very different.

I started to think about death..
And i recalled about the news of people dying all over the world because of all the natural disasters like earthquakes, tsunami, floods..etc.
It is really getting increasingly prevalent that every week there is at least 1 natural disaster killing thousands.
I also started to think about what me and my friends were talking about this week..

I started off telling one of my classmate, "i think i going to have a stroke soon.."
she said, "why?"
I continued.."cause my eyebrown has been twitching non-stop for like a week already..and everytime i do my work then it gets very irritating..it was as if my heartbeat transferred to my eye brown through the veins..so i felt the heartbeat in my eye browns.."
She laughed and laughed..haha^^
Then she shared it will with rest of the people...then they all laugh..
When my other friend heard this, she started talking about someone she know collapsed and fainted during a bbq or something..then she got up and said she was fine and she continued mixing around and laughing and the moment she got back home after the bbq, she died.
She died because she got a stroke..and she didn't know..

Don't you think it is really sudden? who knows what is going to happen tmr?
So live your days to the fullest.
I was reading a small book on the bus just now..
And it also talks about death.

It talks about us being made to last forever...
That "This life is preperation for the next."
You have probably heard this like 1 million times..but i still wanna share^^
While life on earth offers many choices, eternity offers only 2 choices: heaven or hell."
Your relationship with God on earth will determine your relationship to him in eternity.
The Bible says, "God has planted eternity in the human heart."
You have an inborn instinct that longs for immorality. God designed you, in his image, to live for eternity.
So, even though we know that everyone eventually dies, death always seems unnatural and unfair.
When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realise that life is just a preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently on a daily basis.
like in every situation, circumstance, decisions..you won't really mind and care about the small little petty things anymore..
You will realise that the clothes you wear, what you have will not last..what will last is your relationships with people and how you act.
Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate in eternity.
The most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking...

Another analogy is your life here is like the nine months that you spent in your mother's womb were not an end in themselves but preparation for life.
Your time here won't be the last of you..
When you die, it will be like your birthday into eternal life.

My geog teacher said something today to motivate us for our A lvls..
She said, "you only have 30 more days to A lvls.."
We said, "but we choose to live in denial."
She said, "But the A lvls will still come, so you just have to embrace it."

Its just like death..if you choose to ignore it and live the days of your life as if you got forever, think again.

Years ago, a popular slogan encouraged people to live each day as "the first day of the rest of your life."
Actually, it would be wiser to live each day as if it were the last day of your life. It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day."

God bless you guys!

A run amongst the terrace houses

I never liked running...
I find it mentally and physically draining..
I like to do all kinds of sports besides running.
But i realised that sometimes i need to do so...
running is one of the only sports that one can do alone.
I run whenever i feel upset about something and i really needed to release it out..

This has been the second time in my life that i ran...alone.
Why? i just felt really upset, frustrated and confused with my feelings..
As i was running today, i was searching for something, a sign, anything from God.
I just needed a word of comfort from Him.
I wanted Him to speak to me.

I searched really hard, running uphill, down hill, looking up at the sky and everything..only to hear fierce dogs barking at me..
I reached a deserted playground and i sat on the swing, breathless, trying to catch my breath and tasting what i had enjoyed in the past when i was a little girl and the current me.

Going back to a few days ago, i was at my house downstairs waiting for the lift to arrive.
I saw 2 maids and 3 children.
One of the little tiny boy was really very very cute.
he just give the innocent smile and by the shirt he was wearing, he was from "apple tree" a nursery.
There were 2 other girls beside him..they were sitting on a table.

I started to think when i entered the lift, how beautiful the world is to this little boy..
everywhere is just filled with raindows and lots of fun!
Why is it that as we grow, we start to see a world of bleakness?
Why is it that as we grow, our "rainbow world" starts to fade away?
Is it due to human complexity or the so called maturity?
"can innocence and complexity coexist?"
i think they can.
Because it depends very much on how one thinks.
It is just like the little boy and adults. they all live in the same world and see the same things...but they in a way "see" the things differently too..
Thats why i love kids. I love their innocence and happiness which also affects how others around feel. i wanna be like them.

Coming back to the running part.
As i was swinging on the swing and looking at the scenery around me, i realised that if i stretched out my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing back and forth.
The only thing is that i have to make the effort and perservere putting my legs straight for a long period of time.
And finally, i got too tired, i dropped my legs and soon after, the swing stopped moving.
I started to think (i dunno whether it is from the Holy Spirit or not) but i start to relate it to church.
If i continue to perservere on just like me keeping my legs straight, the swing will continue to swing. But if i choose to give up just like that, there will be no chance of it moving anymore, just like my spiritual walk with God.
the message here is, don't give up..don't give up nicole.

I stood up from the swing and turned around, i saw 2 very old couple exercising together..they were like smiling and stuff..i think they are like in their 80s already with pure white hair..
It really comforted me because it showed me that there is actually hope in marriages..
Why i think that way?
I think it is because what i see in this world today is broken marriages of all religions..
divorse rates shooting high up.

There was something else that noticed.
It was the London kind of the telephone booth! (the red one)
i thought there was a phone in there...
As i walk towards it excitedly, and peeked into it, what i saw was nothing.
then i walked away and started running again..
when i ran up the hill, i saw another of the same thing like amongst the houses..
i was very happy at first.
But when i peeked into it, i saw nothing again.
the message that i thought of is, "what appears to be, may not be what it is."
and i thought about other churches this time.
No matter how good i think the other churches are, it may not be what i think it is.

It has been a very interesting run as long as you go with an open heart and mind, searching for stuff to look into and think about, God speaks. (you just got to know how to desifer them)^^

God bless you guys.

A story

Hey hey...i know that it has really been a super long time since i ever posted a post and i guess maybe this blog is like forgotten already..haha.

Many things have happened and i don reall wish to talk about it..too complicated to type it out..

The reason why i wanted to blog today is that i wanted to share with you all a little story that i read from "chicken soup for the christian soul 2" a book that i borrowed from the library and leng shan introduced it to me de.

This story struck me when i was doing my qt and prayed for God to speak to me..and i randomly flipped a page..and this was the story: "IN GOOD HANDS"

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanted anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

The phone rang early. Hal, my husband, answered it before it rang again.

"Yes?" he said. "Oh...i see." By the tone of his voice i knew it was the phone call we'd expected and dreaded.

We'd watched Hal's father. Harold, grow weaker since his heart attack in January. Dad's bypass surgery eight years earlier had given us far more than the five years doctors had promised. Then Dad experienced several smaller heart attacks. His lungs began filling with fluid. Doctors had reached the end of what they could do for him in the hospital and transferred him to an extended care facility.

With his needs beyond what care we could give and because he lived an hour and a half away, the most we could do was visit him as often as possible. Since we couldn't help him physically, the best care we could give was to care for his soul.

Hal and I had become Christians 15 years earlier, and we wanted to share our faith with his family. His mother, Grace, had taken Hal and his brothers to church when they were young, but his father never went. Grace quit attending after Dad's first heart attack. Did she stay home to make sure Dad was okay after his quaduple bypass? Or had his heart attack shaken her faith? I didn't know.

'Give us an opportunity to tell Dad about you, I prayed to Jesus. He must decide whether he will take you as his Saviour, but please don't let him die without a clear opportunity to respond to you.' I had prayed similar prayers for years, but when Dad became sick my urgency increased.

Hal hang up the phone. "Dad died at 3.30 this morn."

'Lord,' i prayed silently, 'did he have the opportunity i asked for?'

Hal and I had both looked for that opportunity to tell Dad about Jesus, but we saw none. With each visit, Dad seemed less willing to talk to us at all. He just stared at the tv. When we tried to start a convo, he pressed the "up" button on the volume control. The more we tried, the more he increased the volume. The urgency i felt inside increased as well.

We asked a hospital chaplain to visit Dad. He did. We asked our pastor to visit. He made the trip. A pastor from Mom's church visited too, but the result was always the same. Up, up went the volume on the TV. I didn't know what else to do but pray.

And now Dad was gone.

According to my fauth, those who accept Jesus christ as saviour are ensured an eternity in heaven with Him. However, those who refuse this gift of salvation spend eternity seperated from God. I still hoped somehow God had answered my prayer and had helped Dad understand, but had He? I didn't know...

We buried Dad in the veteran of the World war 2 herself, made her own final arrangements at the same time but non of us knew how soon she would need them.

The week after Dad's funeral, she started showing signs of illness. One day, a neighbour found her on the floor, incoherent. Doctors diagnosed Mom with a cancerous tumor in her stomach plus lymphoma.
She was hospitalised and we resumed the endless trips to visit.

Mom was too weak to live alone, and her sons discussed their options, each offering to care for her.
But it became clear her needs exceeded what any of us could give. The best we could do as her caregivers was to let professionals help.
She moved into an extended care facility. The chemo began having small strokes, then a major stroke. And there we were, the week of Christmas, laying Grace to rest beside her husband.
We invited everyone to gather at our home that Christmas. As we quietly celebrated the birth of Jesus, I not only wondered about Harold, I also wondered if Grace had a true understanding of Jesus Christ. How I wished I knew.

The new year dawned, and we all felt emotionally and physically drained.
Nevertheless, the work of dealing with Harold and Grace's estate lay before us.
Each of us sorted, separated, donated, gave away or sold their belongings. We fixed up their home for sale, painting inside and out.
Finally, 6 months later, Hal and I set the few remaining items in the driveway for one last garage sale.

Neighbors, Christine and Alfonso, stopped by.
"you know, we visited your dad in the nursing home," Alfonso told us.
"No, we didn't know that," Hal said.
"one afternoon i told Christine, 'We need to go see Harold.' We went right then. When i walked into his room," Alfonso said," his face lit up! He was so happy to see us. So i just started telling him about Jesus."
"Really?" Hal asked, glancing at me.
"your dad said he wasn't ready to go," Alfonso said."I told him, 'I'm not saying that you're going to die, but we all need to be ready.' I explained to him about Jesus and then asked if he'd like to ask Jesus to be his Saviour. He began to weep and said yes, so i led him in a prayer."

"We had no idea! when did this happen?" I asked, incredulously.
"Well," Alfonso thought for a moment, "he died early the next morning."
"I prayed with your mother too." christine added.
"When the ambulance came for your dad, i stayed with her. I asked her if she was sure she'd go to heaven when she died and she said no, so i prayed with her so she could be sure."

"Your parents are in heaven," Alfonso declared.
I know.

Thats the end of this story...
And i really do hope that you will get touched by this story and just continue to pray for those who are unsaved..
You will never know, maybe right before they die, they will get saved?
Maybe God will send one of His servants to share with them about the gospel?

What i learnt is, only until the day they die, there is still hope.

God bless you always ^^

Love for the lost

I just wanna share with you how God spoke to me in my times of despair and it is really just amazing..and i think what i am going to share today will be applicable to everyone...so read on k! If you all really very lazy then just read the blue coloured words^^

This whole week of school is really hectic because i experienced the things that i didn't experience before..
Those of you who have my msn, i ever typed this on my personal message, "i am losing something that i had before..."
And that something is COMPASSION and LOVE for the people.

I have no idea why, but i seem to have lost this love for the people and the desire to want them to get saved and it became very real to me last week till this week. (Starting from mon it became worst)
My ability to love my classmates and the push to sharing the gospel and be sensitive to the spirit, trying to grasp every opportunity that i have to share the gospel and just really have this burden for their salvation in my heart. To feel what God feels, to grieve for what God grieves for..
Thoughts like "ai ya..i try so hard already, they all already know the gospel, no point in repeating the same old thing."
I seem to be comprimising to them and do not really emphasize so much on the words and language they use.
My passion for God and doing the work for God just subsided because i felt so discouraged.
I felt as though i try so so hard but i don see God moving at all..i don see the changes, i just don't see even a slightest bit if change...
I start to interceed in prayer for my father, extended family and friends for the sake of interceeding but the hope and conviction that they are going to saved when i pray disappeared though time..

The amazing thing was that, it was only this mon that i brought it up and told the rest in the prayer group in CJ morn meetings and fasting from break periods because i felt like there is a need to share...
They gave me the usual encouragements and stuff..i agree to what they say..but there was not much of a change actually..
Also, I realised that there are so many other christians out there, in churches who do not love nor feel the burden at all...and I felt really sad and helpless as i dunno how to help and support them...
God spoke to me through the 40 day fasting booklet because this whole week was basically talking about being intercessors and showing how jeremiah suffered for God and about just telling and proclaiming God's word to the world. And everyday, God will just speak to me through christian friends and His word..

And today, CJ prayer group did campus evangelism.

At first i really didn't feel like going...but i was reminded of the song i sang in the morn during the prayer group session. It is called "For the Lost" i think and the first stanza goes "In prayer we will seek your will. As we turn from sin. And though it cost us much, We'll give you all we've got. For the fields are white for harvest, Souls to be won for Jesus."

Because of that, i went ahead.

Summarising the things that happened as i went forth to the canteen with people from the prayer group 2-3 people, i just got really angry and pissed off..

Out of the 2 hours of campus e, we used the 1 hour to evangelise to a total of 4 people (2 claim to be christians) and for the other 1 hour the 2 other people whom i went with, try to comfort, encourage and calm me down. They really spoke their mind and told me straight that i shouldn't get angry with them and stuff..

The reason why i got so angry was because the christians claim themselves to be christians, but when i invited them for prayer group they didn't want to come..cause they say too busy and stuff..everyone that we shared to kept on asking us intellectual questions..questions like, "how do you know that your God is real? How do you know that your God is the real and true God when there are like so many other God's around? Who knows? maybe Ala is the real one lei? it is just your own personal belief. Maybe all the historical proof are fake? it is just blind faith!"

I get so so heated up, i really wanted to start a debate on it..i really wanted to show them that the Bible can actually be proven to be right. But at the end, thank God my other prayer group members stopped me in time..

Then i went for cell at night..and we went for some "light up" prayer and service meeting thing organised by hwa chong every year and it was held at bukit timah shopping centre...

I didn't know what it really was so i just went ahead with the other cell people..

And this is the thingy that i wanted to encourage you all with..it was the sermon that i heard and God really spoke to me personally through it.

It was about "The Great Commission" = matthew chap 28 verse 19. "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Especially in JCs and polys, there will be many who will try to prove that God does not exist, there will be many that try to beat us christians up intellectually..

And for me, i will usually be the one who try to convince them, reason with them and try to win their arguments and debates about God.

But actually ALL that we need is to love them and bless them.

There was this blessings campaign going around where by, people will go up to random strangers to pray for them just to show them that God loves and cares for them.

And the pastor shared that there was this engineering guy, he held on to the notion that he is the pastor of his workplace and thus went to pray for 1 colleage a day.. and by the end of the campaign, there were 14 colleages queuing up and asking him to pray for them and some even converted to christians..

If we use the intellectual stuff to convince them and argue with them, it is just like taking the Bible and hitting them on the head, making them not wanting to talk to you again, about God especially..so what if you win the argument? They wanna argue because they cannot see. They cannot see the God that you claim to have..they cannot see the things that are said in the Bible.

By loving and blessing them and when they experience God's love and stuff, they can see the real things happening..not only in their lives, but yours.

They are looking at how you present yourself as a christian, a child of God.

Are you willing to offer yourselves to show others that you care?

Offer yourselves to show others that God loves them?

Will you be the first to pray for them with they face certain problems in school, be it studies or falling sick? If you ask them whether they want you to pray for them, and they feel very uncertain, can just say, "you got nothing to lose what, if it works then good for you..if it doesn't work, it isn't going to cost you anything mah." But if they don't want then you don push it on further ler..

Will they feel comfortable confiding in you?

How about all the other people that are considered the outcast? People that drink or smoke? People that join gangs and take drugs?

Many will say, "oh...i don want to go and talk and mix with them, i want to maintain my holiness lvl."

But think about it, if you don't do it, who will? the other non-christians?

One of the difficulties that we face while sharing the gospel in school is that when we try to invite people to go to church, they always don't want to go.

So instead of bringing the people to church, you can bring the church to the school.

Some people will really go all out and to large extents just to evangelise. But actually when you can do is just right in front of you. We are called to love and bless people.

Always ask yourself, what makes me so different by the way we live our lives from the rest of the people?

Is it just a name?

The love of Jesus Christ goes beyond theology or whether your friend can speak tongues.

Someone once said, "if you really have experience with Jesus christ, how can you not share it?" cause it should be something real amazing and outpouring.

Prayer is really important.

God gives us something called prayer so that our prayers can move the heavens and touch God.

1 Peter chap 2 verse 9, "But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light."

We are called to be pastors in our school, our homes and even in our workplace.

As long as we pray and seek God, we are able to change the whole spiritual atmosphere in school/ workplace. Lets have unity in Christ. Let us take courage to be different. (in a Christ-like way)

As long as you are sincere and true to yourself about what you really want God to change you or to help you, God will speak. Just like how God speaks to me, as you yearn, wait and be sensitive, God will speak and transform you today^^

There is a verse that i want to share..1 Peter chap 3 verse 1 "....Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives."

God loves and never rejects your sincere heart.